Since I have a lot, and I mean A LOT, of experience at the gynecologists office, you can imagine that I may have a story or two about being there.
There are two types of visits, first, the classic check up visits to the gynecologist, and then the second, the ever lasting pregnancy visits. Most of you know that when you go in the office their first request is for a urine sample, then of course "undress from the waist down" so that they can measure and listen to the heartbeat and sometimes maybe an exam is in the works.
So this particular time I was there for an exam and a typical pregnancy checkup!....I needed to offer up my urine....and the ever popular waste down disrobing was in order. In this office each exam room was equipped with a toilet behind a drape, so that you could easily do your duty before the exam, I was never very comfortable with this set up, but so be it, that's how they worked and I had to accept their idea of comfort. So as I was doing the sacrificial urine sample, I decided to do the disrobing too, BEFORE I flushed the toilet! What a big giant mistake! I took off my maternity pants and hung them on the hook behind the toilet grabbed the sheet that was on the ledge beside the toilet and proceeded to flush. OMG!!! to my great surprise instead of "going down" the water began to rise, and not only rise, but rise at GREAT speed! More like a water spout than a typical toilet overflow! I stood there in amazement! And of course, the thoughts of "WHY ME?" and "WHY NOW?".....then I realized "WHY NOT ME? AND WHY NOT NOW?"
So I ran and jumped onto the exam table, so as not to get toilet water all over me, and thought "OK how am I going to get out of this one?" In the meantime, I saved the pee sample!
I leaned over, because thankfully the door was very close to the exam table, and began beating on the closed door. All of this time, I am laughing my naked ass off! I heard someone say, "have patience, the doctor will be in in a minute!" GREAT!!! That's not what I want!!! So I yelled, "please come in here NOW!, your toilet hath runneth over!" The nurse yells back "WHAT?"......geesh, I can't believe it at this point! yelling back and forth from a room with an attack toilet, to a nurse that just thinks I'm being "one of those impatient pregnant women"....so again, I yelled, "PLEASE come in here, your toilet is overflowing!" So finally she walks through the door and to my great surprise SCREAMS!.......REALLY???....a screaming nurse! I just sat there half robed, laughing, and since I was enormously pregnant, had to pee again!
I looked at her and asked her to please help to "GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" So she started to throw any spare towels and paper towels on the floor to create some sort of bridge for me to walk on to get out of that room and into another! Surprise, surprise! All of the rooms were taken at this point and I was still half robed with a plastic bottle of PEE in my hand!
She asked if it would be a bother to wait in the bathroom until she could wade through the toilet water and get my clothes.....UM??? not a bother at all, standing in the middle of the hallway half naked with pee in my hand was sort of a bother! So there I stood in the bathroom waiting for my clothes so that I could head to another room to do the same damn thing all over again. Hopefully this time without an attack toilet!
I know it seems unbelievable that this sort of thing could happen to little old me, but it did, and yes if nothing else the moral of this story is, NEVER TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF BEFORE YOU FLUSH THE TOILET!!!!
There are two types of visits, first, the classic check up visits to the gynecologist, and then the second, the ever lasting pregnancy visits. Most of you know that when you go in the office their first request is for a urine sample, then of course "undress from the waist down" so that they can measure and listen to the heartbeat and sometimes maybe an exam is in the works.
So this particular time I was there for an exam and a typical pregnancy checkup!....I needed to offer up my urine....and the ever popular waste down disrobing was in order. In this office each exam room was equipped with a toilet behind a drape, so that you could easily do your duty before the exam, I was never very comfortable with this set up, but so be it, that's how they worked and I had to accept their idea of comfort. So as I was doing the sacrificial urine sample, I decided to do the disrobing too, BEFORE I flushed the toilet! What a big giant mistake! I took off my maternity pants and hung them on the hook behind the toilet grabbed the sheet that was on the ledge beside the toilet and proceeded to flush. OMG!!! to my great surprise instead of "going down" the water began to rise, and not only rise, but rise at GREAT speed! More like a water spout than a typical toilet overflow! I stood there in amazement! And of course, the thoughts of "WHY ME?" and "WHY NOW?".....then I realized "WHY NOT ME? AND WHY NOT NOW?"
So I ran and jumped onto the exam table, so as not to get toilet water all over me, and thought "OK how am I going to get out of this one?" In the meantime, I saved the pee sample!
I leaned over, because thankfully the door was very close to the exam table, and began beating on the closed door. All of this time, I am laughing my naked ass off! I heard someone say, "have patience, the doctor will be in in a minute!" GREAT!!! That's not what I want!!! So I yelled, "please come in here NOW!, your toilet hath runneth over!" The nurse yells back "WHAT?"......geesh, I can't believe it at this point! yelling back and forth from a room with an attack toilet, to a nurse that just thinks I'm being "one of those impatient pregnant women"....so again, I yelled, "PLEASE come in here, your toilet is overflowing!" So finally she walks through the door and to my great surprise SCREAMS!.......REALLY???....a screaming nurse! I just sat there half robed, laughing, and since I was enormously pregnant, had to pee again!
I looked at her and asked her to please help to "GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" So she started to throw any spare towels and paper towels on the floor to create some sort of bridge for me to walk on to get out of that room and into another! Surprise, surprise! All of the rooms were taken at this point and I was still half robed with a plastic bottle of PEE in my hand!
She asked if it would be a bother to wait in the bathroom until she could wade through the toilet water and get my clothes.....UM??? not a bother at all, standing in the middle of the hallway half naked with pee in my hand was sort of a bother! So there I stood in the bathroom waiting for my clothes so that I could head to another room to do the same damn thing all over again. Hopefully this time without an attack toilet!
I know it seems unbelievable that this sort of thing could happen to little old me, but it did, and yes if nothing else the moral of this story is, NEVER TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF BEFORE YOU FLUSH THE TOILET!!!!
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